This guide is for those who are new to twitter. Twitter can be pretty confusing at first, but once you get used to twitting then things get a lot more twit.
Twitter is probably best thought of as a series of staircases, where each staircase corresponds to one twit. Twitter users (twits) come along and build a new stair on the top of each staircase by twitting, allowing them to follow each other. Where you build your stairs depends on who you want to twit with. The whole twitter website, then, is like a painting by Escher, although the whole thing is contained in a building (without any walls or roof or floor). Once you understand this, twitting makes a lot more sense.
Here is a short glossary (or twittery) of commonly used jargon on tweeter.
Twit - a person who uses twitter.
Twit - the bird in the twitter logo.
Twit - the twitter logo.
Twit - a single post on twitter.
Twit - a sentence on a twitter post.
Twit - each character on a twitter post is called a "twit." e.g. the maximum length of a twit is 140 twits.
Twit - the IT department running twitter refer to each database engine in the "twit cloud" as a twit.
Twit - small, dry travelling biscuit, noted for its nutritional content. This is actually where the idea for twitter comes from, because you get small "twits" as "mind food."
Twit - the sound made by the keyboard when making a new twit. *twit* *twit* twit* *tap* *twit*
Twiit - a popular, ironic and deliberate misspelling of "twit" by the trendier twits on twitter.
Twit - A computer which someone uses to access twitter. Also "laptwit," "desktwit" and "iTwit."
Twit - single byte of data stored on the twitter servers.
Twit - a portmanteau of "twitter" and "wit." When a twit makes a more than usually witty twit, you might say "that was a witty twit," and then go ten pin bowling.
Twit - slang term for ten pin bowling.
Ten pin bowling - a game which involves rolling a heavy ball toward an arrangement of pins, whilst posting an update on twitter.
Although there are many more things to know about twitter, this should be enough to get you well on your way.
Once you become and advanced twit, you might want to monetise your twitter by adding advertisements, logos or malware. Just remember that if you're going down that path, everyone hates you. Really hates you.
